A Long Pause in Her Chapter

The worst feeling in the world is seeing your friend feel like nothing. Her body is there, but her mind is elsewhere. She feels nonexistent. Her soul is shutting down on her, leaving her hopeless. A person can look straight through her and not realize she’s tumbling down while she breathes. They think she’s fine. But she’s screaming for help while she jokes around. It’s hard to believe that someone so happy can be so sad. I can’t believe it. It’s still hard to believe how the Genie from Aladdin died, he’s done such good movies. Anywho, she tells herself everything will be fine, but there’s always that bad conscience that tells her otherwise. I can tell. She tells herself she wouldn’t let it beat her, but then it starts to laugh in her face. She tries to control it but she can’t. Sometimes she thinks to herself because her thoughts is her only escape. However, her thoughts were killing her slowly, but that’s what she has been doing for the past years, trying to beat it. She’s tried to stay strong while her friends were tumbling down. I’ve seen it. Her friends have cried in front of her a couple times and she will tell herself that she can relate to it but all she would do is either hold their hand or hug them tightly saying it’ll be okay. She kept everything to herself. Not because she didn’t want to open up, but because nobody listened to her anymore. She could tell on how a person looked at her. Really, I’ve seen it. She’s really good at analyzing people really fast. Another thing she would always say was, “It sucks to be emotional.” I hate it when she says that because it isn’t her fault. But, I would always tell her it will be okay because things take time and people soon will understand her. Although people used that against her but she still looked beyond that. They wouldn’t understand her right at this moment I say, but they will. I tell her that she is worth it and that she can do this because I hate seeing her sad, especially when she’s drowning herself in her body, that’s when she needs it the most. Even when she’s not, she still needs a reminder. I can still see her grow, trying to catch herself while she falls. She has built so many walls that I can’t even reach, but I still try to climb over it. She protects herself so much. you know? I just wish nothing but the best for her, because she truly deserves it. People deserve happiness. They deserve it all.

Love Jenn


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