It’s such a beautiful maze

It’s February and so much has happened since the last time I have been on here. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Well, where should I start? I got 4 college acceptances so far with a scholarship, I am still on the lookout for more scholarships. If I could go to all the colleges I want to go to all at once, I would. My birthday recently passed on January 28, I turned 18 and I am blessed to see another year of life. I’ve got closer to people in such a short amount of time, grew upon them and lost a friendship I never thought it would finish. I am a genuine person, I love being friends with everyone and spread good vibes, basically nothing but positive energy. But, there’s things I’ve learned and finally understood after a while that I can’t always tag along and make my feelings matter too. I’ve always put others before me, even strangers, because I love seeing people happy but then I’ve come to realize I wasn’t happy with myself. In such little time, so much has happened in a blink of an eye. Senior year has been nothing but lessons. I am learning more about myself and being blessed when the time comes. I always tend to care what people think, what they feel, how they could approach me, what they’re thinking and etc. but, its time that I put my feelings in matter because everything comes within time. If it’s meant to be, it will be. If they want to be your friend, they’ll try. No matter what, just smile, wave and say goodbye to those who take advantage. Learn to let go and start new. If you go back, remember what the person did and ask yourself, “Do you want to go through that trouble again?” God, how I miss writing how I feel, I always write on my notes on my phone about what I feel. But, I haven’t been blogging about what has been going on. Writing is my escape and if I can’t write, my photographs speak for me.

These are the pictures I actually had the time to capture, I have much more people I have cherished with, but I will get a picture of them and show it to you!!

The first picture, I have a huge heart for coolatta’s or frappe’s but I get pimples so fast to 75% of what I eat, and this is a huge chunk apart of it but man, it’s been months since I had one and I finally go it and I was so happy, although my mother was so mad at me because I bought it but oh well, my face will clear soon. Towards to the right, it’s my k-bear and she’s basically my walking diary, seriously, whatever comes into my mind, she records *giggles*

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– every J deserves some love

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-don’t eat me because I won’t give in

In my photography class, we created these letters with cardboard, it took a week to do this, I had help thanks to michita(smiley face). Any who, I painted it. It has meaning to it. The “J” is so different from the others. Why? I really didn’t care how it looked, it needed to be imperfect because I have many flaws I’m learning to love. But I stopped myself and said to myself “stop, treat these letters kind, don’t show that you don’t care, make it look vintage and beautiful.” Then with “ENNI”, it shows how scattered I am, how wavy I am and how hard it is to get to the “complete me.” Where the lavender pinkish color is, is the hardest part for someone to see the full image of me behind me. My letters isn’t just polka-dots and color, it’s a meaning. I’m imperfect yet still learning. I am still blooming and growing. This has been the hardest I’ve been fighting but sooner or later, I will no longer care of what people think of me and appreciate myself, love myself and adore myself more than anyone, because I need me as a whole not just covered with lines.

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as long as you tried enough, nobody can beat you.

“No such thing as a life that’s better than yours” J. Cole

Note to self: keep writing, lose yourself through your words, let it all out, if no one listens, your pen and paper will feel. You’re not alone.

Love Jenn,

Thanks for bearing with me.

 

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